Oh, ASOS … Why’d you have to go and do this?
I just got through telling all of my friends how fierce and fabulous you are, after the release of your new ASOS SUPPLY homewares collection, and then this drops.
Literally every ASOS shopper everywhere has been left utterly perplexed by a garment currently on sale.
Behold, the ‘Truly High Waist Leg Cut Out Leg Harness’.
Or, as real people like to call it: a pair of crotchless pants.
Sorry, but the name alone is just far too much – Whoever named this harness should be forced to wear it, and nothing else, around the office for a week as punishment.
Made from smooth, stretchy black bike pant fabric, this one of a kind piece allegedly gives you “the confidence to express your individuality”.
“Your life is eclectic and unexpected and, now, so is your wardrobe,” the harness description tells us.
The most unexpected part of this entire shemozzle is that a pair of asseless chaps managed to crawl out of an abandoned 80s strip club and into an ASOS catalogue.
For just $25, this ‘harness’ can be all yours to trot around the house in when you’re alone, wear it on a horse, or whip it out in your boudoir for some seriously unattractive intimate times.
I mean, this girl is an actual model, and she can’t even pull it off.
No, seriously. She spent three hours stuck in this thing. They had to call emergency services.
Social media users are just as confused.
“What are these hideous things?” wrote one baffled browser.
While another commented: “God, they’re horrific.”
But the best is yet to come.
The product details just kill me.
“Harness by ASOS DESIGN: It’s already got your attention,” the website claims.
Well, you’re not wrong there.
It boasts a “high-rise waist”, as if a bit of synching in is the major drawcard of the garment.
“Cut-out design,” the site says, as if that wasn’t already obvious.
Originally published as ‘Horrific’ trend confuses internet